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Dead...?

PostPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 4:56 pm
by ShadeC4
So, as should be obvious: I have a lot of mental health issues. On the 12th around the evening I suddenly got hit with 1 of my major down moods. Usually when these happen the worst I do is some lame, non-scarring cuts & life goes on. But this time all these feelings I haven't been feeling burst out...

For some months I had these feelings festering & boiling beneath the surface. So what gets into my head to do? Down something around over a hundred Tylenols. I go through the 13th thinking that all the coughing & vomitting I'm doing is my body expelling the pills & getting over it. Figure about 24 hours & I'm fine... It didn't stop so at about 2 am the 14th (night of the 13th) I go to the hospital. So up till yesterday I've been on IV's pumping stuff into me so that my liver that I nearly crashed can get better. Luckily I don't need a liver transplant. & I've actually come out of it finally doing things in my life... Now as to how long this lasts I have no idea. But I'm gonna do my darndest to ride it to its fullest & not crash down like that again. That was a horrible experience... Though I did enjoy other people having to watch my health for once. Downside to that is you come out full of needle holes & bruises from said needles. So I actually look worse than when I went in even though I'm healthier. If I could upload pics through my PS3 I'd take & up a pic of the massive bruise on my left arm from the vein they burst.

So, yeah. Where have I been? Risking death cause of my depression. Let this be a lesson to face your feelings not run from them. Always being "happy" & "positive" doesn't mean you are.

Re: Dead...?

PostPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 5:00 pm
by ShadeC4
[useless post]

Re: Dead...?

PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2010 2:18 am
by Transypoo
Yipes, Shade! I was wondering where you were, but I'd've never dreamed! I for one, am glad you survived, and are doing better. I know how these things go most of my family is either depressed or bipolar.

Well, better bruised than dead, really. Yeah, burying your feelings is never a good idea.

(Sorry, I'm not terribly great with words at times like these but I felt I had to post something!)

Re: Dead...?

PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2010 7:47 am
by ShadeC4
Things aren't always easy but you do what you can. & I gotta take advantage of this desire to get my life in gear. I don't want this happening again. I'm such a mess, my life's such a mess... It's long overdue that things damn well change.