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Postby Transypoo » Wed Jan 06, 2010 2:28 pm

So, I've amassed all my Godzilla movies into one big pile, arranged in chronology. and I've decided that I'm going to watch one a day, and post my impressions here. Some of the movies I've seen, some I have not, some I haven't seen since I was a kid.

We begin with the immortal 'Gojira.' (1954) The original, unaltered Japanese movie.

This is a fairly heavy movie with strong allegories to the end of WW2. A fact they bring up in the movie itself. Lines like "We should get to a shelter!" "Shelters? Again? What a bother." (I'm paraphrasing, of course) And with scenes of irradiated children being taken care of in makeshift hospitals, a mother clutching her children and crying "We'll be joining your father soon!" as the giant reptile topples the town with radioactive breath.

Although, I will say, for a Paleontologist, Dr. Kyohei Yamane, knows very little about what happened in the past. He claims that the Jurassic was 2 million years ago and that sea and flying reptiles only first appeared in the Cretaceous, around 2 million years ago. I guess '2 million years ago' is just what he says when he has no idea what he's talking about.

"Did you go to the store, honey?"

"Ah, uhh, yes, 2 million years ago, so it's your turn."

In case you don't know, Dinosaurs went extinct 65 million years ago at the end of the Cretaceous. Flying and sea reptiles mad appearances as far back as the Triassic (I believe.)

As far a the Big-G goes, it's very well done for the time. Godzilla looks like a puppet sometimes, but over all for a monster movie of the early 50's it holds up pretty well. The miniatures used to show devastation, and tank moving are also expertly well done. Every so often a toy car flips over or something jiggles like it was a toy, but all in all the buildings are awesome. I'd venture to guess that's how a building WOULD fall apart if a 50 meter tall radioactive dinosaur stepped on it.

It's also interesting to note that Godzilla actually (SPOILERS!) dies at the end. Killed by Dr. Daisuke Serizawa's Oxygen Destroyer. Of course Dr. Serizawa dies with the secrets of how to make this devastating weapon to prevent it being used ever again in the future. (Needs of the many out weigh the needs of the few.) And another parallel to the atomic bomb. Scientist makes a weapon and regrets ever making it.

Also interesting is Godzilla doesn't make an appearance until well into the film, and doesn't make a full body appearance until around halfway or so.

Oh, I also noticed that the Japanese in this movie sounded different to the Japanese you usually hear in modern anime. I was made aware of this when right at the beginning one of the main characters receives a phone call saying that a boat has sunk, his phone edict is far different. No, 'moshi moshi,' and it seems much more formal, but then he was in the cost guard, so that's to be expected.

I give this movie a: :happy3:
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Postby ShadeC4 » Wed Jan 06, 2010 3:06 pm

Woot!! Reviews. :smile:
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Postby Transypoo » Thu Jan 07, 2010 2:15 pm

Day: 2

Godzilla: King of all monsters (1956)

This is the American version of the movie starring Raymond Burr as Steve Martin. No... wait... yeah, that's right. Hey plays STEVE MARTIN THE WIDEST MAN ON EARTH! I don't know if it's because all the other actors are Japanese or because of the style of his suit, or just because he really is the world's widest man, but he's twice as wide as everyone else in the movie.

What's interesting is that the American version of the movie could actually take place during the events of Gojira much like Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead except for the dubbed over parts... and where conversations take place and... you know what? It can't. I thought I could make it work, but it turns out that the entire thing was his idea.

So, interesting thing, the movie opens after the devastation of Tokyo and Steve Martin is almost dead on the floor. In traditional American monster movie style. The most rest of the film takes place during a flash back, with strange cut scenes of Raymond Burr taking to people 'just over there' to explain what happened in the scenes they cut. (WHAAT?)

Steve mostly wanders around with his new boyfriend... err... I mean a guy he picked up after arriving in Tokyo... err... I mean... his sidekick, Tomo Iwanaga who takes him camping on Odo island, they go to conferences together, and he keeps Steve up-to-date on all the latest giant monster news... Oh, a fan pairing! :laughing:

Steve is apparently friends with all the main characters especially his old college buddy, Dr. Daisuke Serizawa (You know the Oxygen Destroyer guy?) whom he never gets to meet at any point in the film. He does get to meet the backs of everyone else's head, so we know he was totally there on set with those people and that he wasn't edited into the movie at all.

Oh, something else interesting, while in the original movie, Godzilla was the result of the atomic bombs dropped on Japan, in the AMERICAN movie Godzilla is the result of H-bomb testing... somewhere... out there...beneath the pale moonlight! *he-he-hem*

Godzilla plays out the movie unaware that he's being watched by a wide American standing behind three to four Japanese people. Seriously, he's nearly always standing behind three to four Japanese actors on a set.... err. I mean- Japanese people on the scene, peering over their heads and looking on with dull surprise.

Also, they kept the '2 million years ago' thing! Look, Professor, two million years ago early humans were making tools... Dinosaurs were dead for 63 million years! Because of the poor dubbing- there's a scene where two characters have weird new voices- Dr. Yamane says '... like this Brontosaurus' while a Tyrannosaurus is on the screen. Oops!

So, having successfully altered the mood from "MY GOD THE HORROR- THE HORROR!" to "Hey, Becky, wanna go to the drive-in? I hear they have a new monster movie!" It just sort of suddenly stops. They cut the music that was playing mid-lyric and go to a black screen with THE END written on it. Then go to credits claiming the Americans involved top billing, 'cause they worked SO HARD on the special effects and stuff.

I give this movie a resounding: :confused2:
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Postby Transypoo » Fri Jan 08, 2010 1:49 pm

Day: 3

Rodan (1956)

Not strictly a Godzilla movie, but Toho did later converge all their Kaiju (giant monster) series into one thing. In that Rodan latter appears in Godzilla films, so I'm justified.

Rodan begins with an American voice over talking about how awesome American Nuclear tests are, but warns that maybe it could awaken Mother Nature's wrath and that Japan claims that it's already happened. (Godzilla?)

So, from that opening, we move on to opening no. 2. Now an American doing a slight Japanese accent tells us about a small town on a Japanese island and how it's a mining town, and that everyone pretty much works for the mine. Then we see folk going down to work and are told that the miners were getting nervous because mine number eight is deeper than they've ever gone.

Then we finally get to meet the main character face-to-face. So after some banter our hero gets a call and rushes off because mine no. 8 has flooded! Once down in the mine he's told by a miner (I'd like to take a moment here to mention that there's a grand total of four voice actors in this dub, and the one guy has a super recognizable voice and plays the entire military!) that two miners are caught in the flood. So, our hero goes after them. They find the one guy dead but he's not drowned he's all torn up... I guess, they didn't really show it all that well, and later when they're washing the body off for the autopsy he looks fine... I dunno, I'll take their word for it.

So, everyone blames the other guy, who is of course the brother of the main character's girlfriend, so everyone blames her for the murders.

Then there's a giant semi-goofy looking bug, blah blah blah. It dies after much effort and after several more people have died. At this point I'm wondering "Where's Rodan?" But the movie goes on.

So, a group of miners (including our hero) go into the mine and find another one! Oh no! But before anything can be done... the hill collapses.

Cut to characters we've never seen before who go out and investigate the new creator, and they find our hero! Mysteriously alive, but with no memory. So, as our hero is glaring at everything, the military is trying to deal with a super-sonic UFO... It files over China! It flies over Taiwan! It flies over... uhh... pretty much everything... so, we don't know what it is! (Rodan? At long last?) But then a young, happy, couple goes up to the local volcano to... I dunno frolic. But as they're taking photos SOMETHING BIG comes after them. The police develop the film in the camera and... Pterodactyl!

Meanwhile our hero looks into a bird's nest and regains his memory of his time in the mine and recalls that he witnessed a massive egg hatch. And a giant puppet eating the semi-goofy bugs from before. Our hero confirms yes, it indeed, was a Pterodactyl.

Then FINALLY Rodan makes a proper appearance and he, and his mate/sister, destroy Tokyo. (And they JUST rebuilt it! Dang!) It was done very well, the destruction was more realistic than the Gojira destruction, they learned! Yay!

Then the humans decide to blow up the volcano to kill the Rodans... A guy protests that the volcano will go off if they do that, but no one listens and we have to suffer through minuets of watching miniature missiles blow up miniature hills... real dull, really. Then the Rodans make an escape and as they are doing that, the volcano goes off... although this too was an awesome effect. Looked very real. So the one Rodan gets caught in the molten rock spray and falls to the earth, dead. The other joins its mate in death, as they cannot live apart...

Which is quite heart breaking. Poor Rodans, they were in love, and only wanted to be left alone! Stupid humans ruining everything! If you had only listened! But no! You have to kill every giant creature that destroys your cities and kills hundreds of people!

Our hero even says that he wishes he could have as noble a death as that... unfortunately, being that close to a giant radioactive Pterodon, he'll die of cancer to the everything.

So, over all the interesting parts were interesting, and the parts where planes fly and shoot at stuff and missiles blow stuff up were boring, and it ends with the tragic death of two star crossed lovers.

I give this movie: a :happy2: and a :sadder: but still wish there had been more Rodan in it. The bugs, for instance, could have been Rodan Chicks!
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Postby Transypoo » Sun Jan 10, 2010 2:38 am

Day: 4

Godzilla vs. Mothra (1964) aka Mothra vs. Godzilla

I'm not one who endorses drinking games, but here's one, take a swig every time Godzilla trips and/or falls down in this movie. You're sure to get hammered.

Even though this movie was made a decade after the original, it's only the second appearance of Godzilla since the original movie(s) in my collection. He been in a lot of movies I don't have...

So, the movie opens with a hurricane, which is a pretty dramatic opening. It then progresses to introducing the main character, a Reporter and his new female Photographer, who seems to be a trained artistic photographer and doesn't really know how to take pictures properly... basically a 'oh you silly women!' type character.

So, as it turns out there's a building project where the hurricane hit and now it's being delayed while they clean up and dry out the land using big ol' pumps to spew the water back into the sea. Ok.

Suddenly some place entirely different a HUGE egg appears floating out at sea and local fishermen go out and pull it in. Through out the movie there's a running joke about a different reporter who's always eating eggs... he's told a couple of times to go out and do a report on the giant egg before he does.

Now, as it turns out some muckty muck about a company buying the egg and building a theme park around it plays out with corruption and the evils of rich men. So, as the two villains talk about how wonderful money is and how evil they are, two tiny woman appear. Seriously, tiny, about doll sized. They're really adorable and have silly little hats and stuff. Oh, speaking of clothes, the Photographer has the most awesome 60's fashions through out the film... the men... are all wearing the same suit. Any ways, the two tiny women plead with the capitalists to give the egg back, the men try to capture the women so they can display them with the egg. COME ONE, COME ALL, SEE THE GIANT EGG AND TINY WOMEN! Yup, cash cow! It could make them, as they say, billions of yen! (Which is a lot!)

So the tiny women run away and meet out heros, and BAM! Mothra! Wow, a titular character in the first act! This movie rocks the socks off Rodan! Our heros go on to try to ask the Capitalists to give the egg back to the island of Motha that the tiny woman come from... uhh... yeah, this was all established in the movie Mothra... which I don't have... So this is like jumping into a Spider-man/Aquaman cross over with only having read Aquaman #1... But it's fairly self explanatory.

So, the Capitalists want to buy the tiny women, blah blah blah... and we find out some sort of organic thing found at the construction site is radioactive. (Seriously, everyone in Japan is going to die of cancer in ten years at this rate!) So, our hero and company go to the construction site and Godzilla rises from the ground.

WOW! That's a new one! He usually just rises from the sea! I guess he must have been washed in with the sea water and all that dirt! From this point on the special effects start to go down hill. Godzilla's suit was changed from the original, to be more comfortable for the actor and have more mobility, but also looks like a guy in a rubber suit now. Suddenly mountains in the background are painted on a wall!

At this point all sub-plots about this construction project are dropped like a radioactive 20 meter tall potato. Will the project be finished on schedule? Will Godzilla's presence irradiate the land and make it unusable? I guess we'll never know.

Also, there's a whole lot of Hitler mustaches in this movie. Not saying anything, just thought I'd point it out.

So, Godzilla proceeds to trip over everything in the world and falls down a lot while the American military (From the actual movie, not added in later!) and the Japanese military proceed to shoot a bunch of missiles at Godzilla. Who falls down more.

So, more shooting and they try the electric fence thing again... 'cause it worked so well against Godzilla in the first movie. And, like in the first movie, he melts it. So, they try it again but this time with nets! A bunch of nets one on top of the other! Nets and nets with nets on them! And Godzilla is shocked into submission.

Meanwhile our hero go to the now bombed out, radioactive Mothra island to ask Mothra to help defeat Godzilla. Reporter guy and Photographer gal are gettin' mighty cozy as this point in the film... So, bunch of natives refuse to help because they didn't get the egg back, and the Tiny Women refuse to help because they didn't get the egg back and Mothra refuses to help becau- ... oh... Mothra will help? And she's dying? Oh, okay, cool. And the tiny women sing "Mosula!" a bunch of times... but not in an annoying way, it's a very beautiful song actually. OH side note, they call Mothra 'The Thing' sevral time through out the movie.

So, Mothra and Godzilla have an epic... oh Mothra's dead. Now what? But wait, there's another! The egg! Apparently all that has to happen is another round of "Mosula" and BAM! Twin....eww... Mothra Larva! Mothra babies are leathery wormy things that kinda look like a foot ball and kinda look like poop.

So, Godzilla goes to a near by island to terrorize some kids, and the Mothra Larva go cralwing after and the rest of the movie is the Larva shooting silk at the hero... err... I mean Godzilla until he's covered in a cocoon and then... falls into the sea... and then everyone celebrates!

THE END! YAY! Job well done, the villain is... wait... Godzilla's at home in the water... all he has to do is work through the silk, and he can melt rock with his atomic fire breath... he just did it! Stop celebrating! He'll be right back! No! This is not a good ending! But then you're pretty drunk by now, and you don't really know what's going on... do you?

Well, plenty of the titular characters, amusing humans, and good music. On the other hand, still much too much missile-play, and an ending that's not really a proper defeat plus the Monsters weren't that well made and the sets were obviously fake... but the tiny women were well done even though they were usually obviously inserted into the scene, but that's the best they could do at the time... oh and the mat painting was not great either.

I give this movie a: :smile2: and a: :headdesk
Last edited by Transypoo on Mon Jan 11, 2010 6:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Transypoo » Mon Jan 11, 2010 1:50 am

Day: 5

Godzilla vs. Monster Zero (1965)

During the opening credits we see distorted stills of various plastic space ships and flying saucers sitting around. I think these were created by the American release company to have the credits in English. Apparently the movie stars NICK ADAMS! Oh, and some Japanese people...

Right from the get go we find out that a new planet has been discovered in our solar system right behind Jupiter. (Saturn?) Then we find out that the P-1 space ship, which looks like a 1960's space ship, is just now approaching Jupiter. They fly around the planet in about 20 seconds... so, it's a very fast space ship... Inside are two men, a Japanese man and an American. (Nick Adams!) So, the space ship lands on Planet X, which is literally behind Jupiter incidentally, They disembark and begins a strange trend of patting each other on the arm and on the back that proceeds though out the entire movie. So, the Japanese man goes off to plant the trio of flags (UN, JAP, USA) and he looses radio contact with this American boyfriend.. err.. no... just ship buddies... Since getting to Jupiter takes two years... well, I'll say no more. The Japanese man rushed back to the ship but finds it missing. "He left without me?!?!" ... is what he should have said, but before he could actually say that a glowing elevator rises from the ground and a voice tells him to enter it... he does after getting zapped.

Then he wanders around in tunnels and hey, it's the American! So, they meet the leader/people of Planet X. Who I have to say look awesome! Apparently they're having a little problem with a monster named 'Monster Zero' who suddenly attacks! Oh, hey! It's King Ghidorah!

So, apparently in a previous film King Ghidorah.. uhh.. Monster... King Ghidorah was defeated by the combined might of Godzilla and Rodan! (Who couldn't make it, but would really love to be in the film, so as soon as he can he'll be there, but he's sent some giant bugs to help out until he can make it.) The people of Planet X want to borrow these two monsters in exchange for a cure for everything!

Wait, wait, wait... you want to take destructive, radioactive monsters off the earth in exchange for a cure for everything... does it come with a free Snuggie?

So, Japanese guy and American guy fly back to Earth and Earth agrees to take the limited time offer. Japanese guy has a sister who he's very protective of and does not like her boyfriend one bit. Her boyfriend, Terry, is a kinda goofy, but pleasant nerd in the most nerdy sense. He's just invented The Most Annoying Sound in the Universe ©

Right after, he meets up with his girlfriend in a space themed restaurant, he mentions that a company wants to buy The Most Annoying Sound in the Universe ©, then, speaking of the devil, a woman enters and buys The Most Annoying Sound in the Universe ©.

American guy goes out on a date with the woman who bought The Most Annoying Sound in the Universe © from Terry and Japanese guy tells Terry that he'll have to do better than that if he wants to date his sister.

The military finds Godzilla right where the aliens said he's be and well, as it turns out, heh heh, the aliens were already here in flying saucers that look like Ikea lamps. Oops!

So they take Godzilla and Rodan and American guy and Japanese guy and Scientist guy and take them to PLANET X. Where King Ghidorah, Godzilla and Rodan fight and Ghidorah runs off.

The 'Controller' tells the humans 'huzza we won!' And discovers American guy and Japanese guy have run off and discovered that all the women on Planet X look like American guy's girlfriend, AKA the woman who bought The Most Annoying Sound in the Universe ©!

Sooo, the humans are sent home only to discover that the audio tape (reel to reel) was actually an announcement for invasion and not a cure for everything! Oh no!

Then the aliens attack with the magnetically controlled King Ghidorah, Rodan and Godzilla! And, amazingly, there are very few missiles!

American guy goes to confront his girlfriend about being an Alien, and she confesses her love and is killed by the other aliens. Once in the Aliens' prison American guy finds that Terry is also captured. Terry notices a note that had fallen out of American guy's coat. It was a note from the alien girlfriend saying that there's a particular sound that can kill/destroy anything from Planet X... surprise, surprise, The Most Annoying Sound in the Universe © comes into play at last!

The humans figure out a way to block the magnetic controller with a different annoying sound to release the monsters, for some reason, and then use The Most Annoying Sound in the Universe © to kill the aliens.

This involves the second trapping of Godzilla movies, convoys. So, convoys and missiles. Then they play The Most Annoying Sound in the Universe © on the radio and direct the sound up towards the aliens, they begin to die and their ship starts to smoke. The Controller,then, says some kinda gibberish about going to some other time and place and detonates his ship. Then the three monsters duke it out and fall into the sea together and King Ghidorah flies away.

"Do you think he killed the other two?"

"No, they're too tough."

And American guy is made ambassador to Planet X and the convoy drives off.. the end....

Wait... Godzilla's in the sea again!?!? Hey! I want a recount!

So, the special effects are terrible and should killed so they don't have to suffer anymore. The humans were interesting but cheesy, and the villains were sharp dressers. The monster suits are... not good... not good at all. I felt like Rodan was going to crack like a pleather couch at any moment.

I give this movie a :confused:
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Postby Transypoo » Mon Jan 11, 2010 1:43 pm

Day: 6

Godzilla's Revenge (1969)

This movie has nothing to do with Godzilla or revenge. As to why it is named as such, I'd venture to guess, ticket sales. Or more probably this movie is the revenge for killing Godzilla in Gojira (1954)

The music in this movie would be more comfortable in 'Bikini Beach Party Summer' or something, it opens with what seems to be the opening credits to a weekly TV show about Manilla (pronounced 'Ma-ny-ah') Godzilla's son. (A slack jawed, glassy eyed, little gray monster that looks like a cross between Godzilla and Yoda's mentally handicapped cousin.)

Then we get to see beautiful views of a filthy industrial town where cars never stop plowing down the street and the air is brown. So, already we've established that the location of this movie sucks.

Next we get to meet the main character as he comes back from school, an idiotic little twerp named Ichiro. He won't shut up about the monsters we'd all prefer seeing than his stupid face.

His parents are always at work and he spends most of his time either visiting the toy designer neighbor or dreaming about going to Monster Island. He believes that Manilla is his friend and protector. Because giant radioactive monsters that have destroyed your country again and again are FUN!

During the course of the film it seems that there are two bank robbers on the loose. But who cares about that, 'cause Ishiro is a weak willed little dork and he's picked on by the equally hate-able bullies. They seal a vacuum tube from him and want him to honk the horn on a motorcycle. yay.

So, Ishiro goes home and dreams that he goes to Monster Island and witnesses stock footage of monsters from other movies, naming them one by one. Then he falls a hundred feet into a dark hole, that represents the audiences' depression at watching the movie, and does not die, he's then saved by MAnilla and blah blah blah. Oh, Manilla can talk. And the audience begins to contemplate how long it would take to find the people who made this move and kill them.

So, Ishiro and Manilla watch stock footage of Godzilla killing things, and then Ishiro is awakened by the Toy Maker. I just wonder if he ever worked for Takara.

Some more stuff happens... So as it turns out Ishiro likes to play in abandoned buildings, no doubt these burt out husks were left in the wake of his heros' frequent rampages. They're probably irradiating the child and hopefully he'll get testicular cancer and never be able to breed. He finds a better vacuum tube and also finds a driver license, which belongs to one of the two bank robbers. They decide to kidnap the boy so they'll never be caught.

Ishiro dreams of Monster island and Godzilla teaches Manilla how to breath fire by stepping on his son's tail and they defeat Gabara together. yay. And while Ichiro is celebrating a LAEF MAN LEAP OUT AND GRABBS HIM AND... he wakes up and it's the robbers... huzza. They take him to the burnt-out building and tie him up and take him out to a newly stolen get away car and Ichiro recalls the lesson Manilla learned in his drug trips... err... fantasies. And decided to fight for himself... and we watch a solid block of kid vs. Two robber that clearly inspired Home Alone. And in the end the robbers are caught and Ichiro's mother says she'll never work nights again. But he sort of says "Whatever mom, I'm off to school." And leaves her in tears. ?!?!

Ichiro walks to school and meets up with the bullies again and beats up the leader who's named Gabara... mm-hum. Then runs off to honk the horn of the motorcycle and the painter it belongs to falls of the billboard he's working on and get a face full of paint, and to the cheers of the audience chases after the kid with murder in his mind. But is stopped by Ichiro's dead-beat father who never comes home but lives in a train with another man. (But this is not the unintentional obviously gay character! He was earlier.)

So, the movie teaches kids that fighting makes you friends and that there are no consequences for messing with other people's stuff. I knew it!

I give this movie a: :confused3: and a :madest:

Eat it Godzilla's Revenge!
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Postby Transypoo » Tue Jan 12, 2010 2:37 pm

Day: 7

Godzilla vs. Megalon (1973)

The movie opens with a map and a voice over telling us that underground nuclear tests are being conducted and that the resulting shock waves are effecting, but not limited to, Monster Island. Then footage of Godzilla, Rodan and Angirus rocking around and avoiding volcanic explosions is shown with credits shortly after.

Cut to a boy on a ridiculous boat thing that goes -1 MPH. Two men watch from a hill side as one takes pictures and the other sets up a picnic. I can only assume these men are a couple with their boy. An earthquake rocks the land and the lake the boy is in splits open. The man dressed like Freddy Jones shoots a rocket with a rope at his son... I guess desperate times? The kid ties the rope to his stupid boat thing and is pulled in and saved. Then the boat gets sucked under and the lake drains.

The family drive home listening to a news report explaining again about the underground nuclear tests... seriously, who thought this was a good idea?

So, they all drive home together and as they're about to go into their house the kid finds the door unlocked... humm... and THERE ARE TWO MEN INSIDE LOOK OUT! Then, after a short struggle, the bad guys get away only for boyfriend to go charging after in his, admittedly, pretty sweet ride. A car chase ensues, but seeing as to how we know very little about our heros... I don't care... The bad guys set off a bomb stopping the boyfriend from continuing.

Back at the ranch we find out the Freddy guy is a scientist working on a robot that he's already started painting even though it doesn't have a head yet even... Oh, the scientist has a strange obsession with red, yellow and blue. His house is in primary colors, his wardrobe, his robot... his son.

It seems that the bad guys ransacked the place but didn't steal anything. But the kid finds red powder on the floor and the boyfriend comes back and mentions to the others that he pulled a button off one of the bad guys that's the same color as the powder, it turns out to be sediment from the bottom of the ocean and from Easter Island where the inhabitants, apparently, disappeared millions of years ago. Dude, what? Did you take Dr. Yamane's class? 'cause that guy's off on his dates you know... just pulls numbers out of the air! I think you mean thousand years ago, a couple thousand years ago.

Montage! Woo! PARTY TIME! Look't all the science! Yus! Oh, the robot's done. And he names it... Jet Jaguar... okay.. why? It doesn't look like a Jaguar at all. But boy is it creepy.

Well, now we find out that the underground nuclear tests were threatening the people of Seatopia. Sea... topia... humm... the ruler is a white guy with a 70's 'stach and 'burns. Seatopia seems like a good name for a theme park don't you think? Heck it even looks like a theme park! (But it's the 70's so these things are to be expected.) So, the Seatopians activate Megalon... some how... I guess he's kinda their god or... they don't make it clear...

So the bad guys come back and capture the heros, and use Jet Jaguar to tell Megalon where to go. Cue the convoy! More jets shooting missiles but now there're big ol' ray guns... they look some what like the Other Annoying Sound that went along with the The Most Annoying Sound in the Universe ©. They shoot Megalon for awhile, and he smushes them.

Meanwhile the Scientist and his kid are trapped in the back of a truck, while Boyfriend is tied up at home. He manages to beak out and beat up the Seatopian then drives off in yet another car and manages to get to the cliff ledge where the two bumbling fools that were hired to drop the shipping crate the Kid and dad are in off the side, but they see Megalon and get scared and run off, the Boyfriend jumps into the truck and... drops the crate. Nice going, idiot.

Megalon then smacks the crate and it goes flying over a hill and lands hard on the ground spilling its human contents. They should be dead. You can't fly hundreds (I'm sorry millions) of feet in a metal box and just walk away! So, Scientist guy reveals his medallion (It's the 70's!) is actually a control for Jet Jaguar, but it needs line of sight, so they bum a Helicopter ride from the military.

They tell Jet Jaguar to go to Monster Island to get Godzilla. Godzilla?!?! Noo! Bad idea! JJ does so and communicates to 'Zilla via hand gestures and some how Godzilla understands and follows after, swimming of course. So, JJ gets there first and increases his size! Wow! Mass shifting! The Scientist then mentions that Jet must have programed himself to grow larger. WHAT? How does- but- wait- wha- huh? If I program a computer to grow larger it will? Did I just learn that?!

So, I guess Jet Jaguar is going to fight Mega- no wait! The Seatopians are sending Gigan too! Noo! And Jet Jaguar gets his butt handed to him again and again. Wow... he sucks. I just learned that!

Well, just in the nick of time Godzilla shows up and saves Jet from junkdom. And interesting bit of acting was when Godzilla and Jet were sounded by fire and Megalon wouldn't quit with the explosives. Jet was jumping around like a novice in a bad situation and Godzilla seemed to take the "We'll get out of this, just need to figure out how." stance. Well actually, the suit actors at do a very good job of conveying the emotions they're supposed to be having, even if its ridiculous. So, now Godzilla and Jet beat the ever living crud out of Megalon and Gigan. (And you were worried...) Including Godzilla's double flying kick. And, yes, folks, he does it twice!

Oh an interesting note, Gigan at one piont flys over Godzilla and hits him in the shoulder and blood shoots out! :O:

So, the bad guys defeated and the Seatopians defeated... uhh.. yeah, when their monsters were loosing they shut their doors, you know the big crack in the lake? Godzilla and Jet shake hands and Godzilla tromps off as the humans cheer and wave good by to him. (It's the 70's!) Jet returns to normal size and the Scientist, his son, robot, and Boyfriend all walk off into the sunset during a song about Jet Jaguar with a side not about not doing underground nuclear tests again so the Seatopians can "rest in peace."


So, the suits were improved and looked far less fakey, but the plot went insane in the mean time. And you could clearly see Jet Jaguar's zipper concealment panel the whole movie.

I give this movie a: :snh:
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Postby Skids » Tue Jan 12, 2010 6:00 pm

^That was the only Godzilla movie I had access to as a young child...my parents bought it for me. Nice bra, Jet Jaguar!
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Postby Transypoo » Wed Jan 13, 2010 3:16 pm

Day: 8

The Terror of Mechagodzilla (1975)

What can I say? Wow. This one was actually pretty good. Some of the costumes were pretty wacky, but all in all, wow.

Being a sequel (Having not seen the first one.) they thought they'd refresh our memories with the movie opening with two Godzillas fighting. But before you can come up with an idea as to why this is happening or how cool it is one is revealed to be Mechagodzilla, has its head torn off, explodes and falls into the ocean as confetti.

Now, the real movie starts, with a submarine looking for Mechagodzilla via a 'space titanium' detector. But there's non to be found even though this is the right spot. Huh. But then suddenly the sub is attacked by a sea-dragon!

And we cut to an Interpol meeting were we meet some characters. One, the main guy, is a Marine Biologist with the Ocean Exploitation Institute. Wait, seriously? It's called that? Exploiting the ocean? Oh, Japan... stop killing whales. Next we hear a recording of the Sub Captain's last thoughts and how he thinks the creature that attacked him was a dinosaur.

Then we flash to a flying saucer.

And we meet two evil sounding men with plans to destroy Tokyo and rebuild it in to an evil... oh no, it looks quite nice actually. The streets are built upon a circular design, the buildings are cylindrical, it has parks, and roof top gardens... lovely.

Then two guys travel to find a scientist who years ago had the nutty idea of 'submarine ranching' meaning under water ranching, like raising fish for food. Good idea, but this plan turned into controlling sea life to "I FOUND A DINOSAUR NAMED TITANOSAURUS! AND I CONTOL ITS MIND!" Which got him kicked out of... science... So, the two men meet the Scientist's daughter who informs them he's dead and all his notes are gone, oh well, we tried.

Cut to Scientist toasting with bad guy! (He's alive! ALIIIVE!!!) The bad guys show him that they're almost done fixing Mechagodzilla and need the good Dr. to just work on the 'brain' of the thing the same way he did with the dinosaur.

Some other stuff happens and we find out the daughter is a cyborg. The Alien bad guys turn her into such after being electrocuted by an experiment. (Then lightning strikes chemicals through an open window!)

They send another sub out and it discovers that Titanosaurus' weakness is Ultra Sonic waves. So they go about building a device.

Then right as Titanosaurus first attacks the Ultra Sonic device has been sabotaged! What are we going to do all hope is lost! All hope is- oh, hey it's Godzilla! He's come to save the day! Huzza! And he fights Titano and is victorious.

So, the villains send out both of their monsters and they start to kick Godzilla's butt, he even bleeds! Yikes! But then the humans show up with the repaired Ultra Sonic device and they hold Titanosaurus at bay while Godzilla kills Mechagodzilla, then Godzilla throws Titano into the sea and... yup. Into the sea.

Meanwhile the human heros chase the alien villain off a cliff and his space ships catch him I guess and they fly off only for Godzilla to blast them.

There's also some sort of romance between the Biologist and the Robot-Daughter, but it's kinda sudden and weird, I think there was some editing.

Overall the mood of this movie was darker than the last couple and the villains and action were better. Titanosaurus is also awesome. Sort of a Fish/Dragon, and much more realistic than the last few new guys. Although the suits for the Aliens were stupid. I guess we can't all be Planet X!

I give this movie a: :happy2:
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Postby Transypoo » Fri Jan 15, 2010 1:06 am

Day: 9

Godzilla vs.Biollante (1989)

All the sins of the past have been forgiven. This was an excellent movie.

It's the second movie of the Heisei period of Godzilla movies, meaning I'm missing the first movie, so once again I'm watching a sequel to a movie I don't own. Actually I only have this movie because I recorded it as a kid. Heck the credits stop halfway through and goes to old Sci-fi channel promos.

The movie opens with a very brief recap of the previous film, in that we find out Godzilla attacked Japan and fell into a volcano.

We, then, see some men in radiation suits gathering samples of Godzilla's flesh. The suddenly a group of American soldiers doing the same thing and getting caught, they run away shooting and exploding everything they can, in a totally awesome 80's way. You know what I miss? 80's movie lighting. You know that blue haze that seemed to be everywhere? What ever happened to that? Then the Americans are killed by a middle eastern guy.

Now we meet a Scientist (there's always one) and his daughter who work for an Arabian oil something... I don't know it the guy we meet is the president of a company or the whole made up country, but his plan is to become the main exporter of grain once the oil dries up. Good plan, actually.

Well, the building the daughter is in explodes! Her father rushes in and finds her body.


The same Scientist has invited Mom Jeans and a Psychic girl to... see if his roses are saying anything. (That old man's crazy!) Well, nothing is happening in flower land. So they leave and just as they're getting in the truck Psychic girl says she can hear some thing, but they drive away anyways. But wait! Americans are watching! And the Middle Eastern Assassin!

So, an organization contacts the Scientist about making some sort of Anti radiation bacteria, at first he refuses but then agrees to help only if they let him have a Godzilla sample for a week. During that week he combines Godzilla DNA with Rose cells to make.. uhh... unkillable roses, I guess.

Then over in the Psychic institute Mom Jeans is informed that all the kids are having the same dream, she goes into the room and asks them to show her what they have been dreaming, and they ALL hold up pictures of Godzilla... chilling.

And well, it seems Godzilla has been stirring in the Volcano. Seriously, he can survive in a volcano and you want to kill him? How? VOLCANO! It doesn't get much hotter than that!

So, anyways, the American and the Middle Easter Assassin all sneak into the Scientist's lab and right as they begin to have a gun fight they're attacked by tentacles! (on my!) And the black guy dies! What? Hey, Japan! The heck? Can a black guy please survive one movie, please? (I know, I know ID4.)

Then a giant Rose appears in a lake near Scientist's house and... Godzilla (who was heading for Tokyo) turns and go straight for the lake ignoring all the missiles being shot at it (Oh boy, I thought we got past this Toho? Do we need to go back to therapy?) and goes straight for the lake where a very impressive battle takes place! Godzilla gets hurt and Biollante reveals mouthes at the end of her tendrils tendrils. Oh, Psychic girls mentions that Biollante was calling out to Godzilla and that it contains the soul of the Scientist's daughter! Scientist concurs. But Godzilla blasts it until its stomach explodes and it catches fire and flies up into the sky as yellow sparklies... weird.

So, Godzilla continues o be a menace and destroys stuff and they shoot it full of the atomic waste eating bacteria. Which should kill it right away. But doesn't.

During a meeting they figure that if Godzillla was cold blooded the bacteria wouldn't grow so fast so they need to heat it up. So they set up a sort of Microwave mine field with laser cannons all around. They draw Godzilla in and blast the ever lovin' hell out of it. But y'know volcano, so he's okay, and the bacteria still seems to do nothing, then, sparklies from space and Biollante is BACK and bader than ever. Another awesome monster dual including a vine going right through Godzilla's hand. He just pulls it out! Biollante vomits acid onto 'Zilla and inevitable both are defeated. And right on that "there, the monsters are gone" note that most of these movies end with, suddenly the Middle Easter Assassin pops up! Car chase! He too is defeated and on the second "there, job well done" note Godzilla get up again and wanders off into the sea. And I think Mom Jeans invited herself over to sleep with a guy character I haven't mentioned.

So, dang missals again. That sucks. I don't know why Toho thinks it interesting... but it was MUCH better done than previously. I guess five some what years was good for special effects. The monsters were darned life like. I must say. Godzilla sneers and stuff, and has a tongue! It's an awesome tongue!

I give this movie a: :happy3:
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Postby Transypoo » Fri Jan 15, 2010 1:37 pm

Day: 10

You know what's sad? I can't make fun of these movies anymore! They're actually really good! Nooo!

Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah (1991)

Have you ever wondered if a movie could retcon itself? Well this movie really tries hard to do just that.

The story begins in the year 2204 with the discovery of King Ghidorah's body. I'm thinking 'Great it ties into one of the old movies.' But no now we cut to 1992 where a UFO is flying over Japan!

The UFO turns out to not be from space (aww, no Planet Xers.) but from THE FUTURE! They've come back in time to help us defeat Godzilla.

MEanwhile we find out that back in 1944 a battalion of Japanese soldiers on a tiny island were saved because a dinosaur saved them.

The plan is to go back in time to '44 to move the dinosaur so it won't be irradiated in '54 and won't become Godzilla (I smell a paradox!) But those sneaky Future people seed the past (The seeds of the future lie buried in the past?) with cute baby dragons.

Back to '92. So, now apparently King Ghidorah is rampaging around Japan. Here's a problem. The people of the modern day know about Godzilla, how could they? Wasn't he retconed out of existence? Shouldn't King Ghidorah have taken Godzilla's place in all those movies? (I guess they're ignoring those?) Okay, at least the first one? IT shouldn't exist anymore, Tokyo should have now been destroyed by Ghidorah in the '50s! Raymond Burr should have been dully surprised by a giant golden dragon descending from the sky! Ghidorah and Rodan would have to fight Ghidorah in space on Planet X! But no, the people of the present are as surprised as the time travelers.

But as it turns out Godzilla was irradiated anyways but more recently so now he's bigger and bader than ever!

Oh at one point in the movie a guy has a Godzilla toy on his desk... wouldn't that be like having a toy of a hurricane? Or an Earthquake? Or Hitler? Or of a terrorist? Why would you have that? Why would you want that?

So, Godzilla dispatches Gihdorah pretty easily, and 200 years later he's still alive on the bottom of the ocean. How? No one knows! He's got a big ol' neck wound you'd think something would have tried to... eat... oh right radiation.

So, Ghidora comes back from the future as Mecha-King Ghidorah even though we were given a speech about how to of the same thing can't exist in the past at the same time. But that doesn't matter... now. After a good fight, they both go down, but Godzilla gets back up again.

The costumes remain good, oh you remember that Psychic girl? She's back! And they make reference to the events in Biollante.

You know what occurs to me? There's no way one solitary dinosaur could be living on an island by its self. There's got to be a bunch of them (at least 15) running around... So the Godzilla form Gojira, who died, would be a different Godzilla than what we're seeing now. There's got to be a lot of them running around, reeking havoc.

I give this movie a: :happy3: for awesomeness and a: :confused: for their lack of time travel physics knowledge.
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Postby Transypoo » Sun Jan 17, 2010 2:11 am

Day: 11

Godzilla and Mothra: Battle for Earth (1992)

You remember how in the last Mothra movie there was an evil Capitalist and how Mothra's egg came from underground? Same thing. This movie starts off as a remake and kinda goes nutty, but in a good way!

The movie starts off with a asteroid falling to Earth and awakening Godzilla at the bottom of a sea trench where he's been hibernating since the last movie.

What's cool is that this time the crazy fakey natives have been dead and gone for 'several thousand years!' See? That's how its done!

One again there's the tiny girls, but they've got early 90's makeup instead of silly 60's clothes.

And although there were plans for the evil Capitalist to make a 'Giant Egg Park!" the giant egg hatched out at sea and did battle with Godzilla.

This movie also introduced an evil Mothra named...Battra. Which sounds a lot like "Badra" in the film... get it?

Battra and Godzilla fall into a undersea volcano and dissappear. Then the Mothra baby swims and crawls across Tokyo to get the tiny women who were in the clutches of the Capitalist, then stolen by the Japanese Indiana Jones. (Who's pretty much the hero.) The movie also starts his exwife, and later on their daughter comes in.

There's also the Psychic girl in it which is cool 'cause it keeps up the feel that these movies are connected and not just a random assortment of films with the same monsters that are unrelated.

Well, inevitably there's missiles, and Mothra transforms into adult Mothra. And, while, Mothra uses a natural moth transformation method, cocoon, Battra kinda explodes into adulthood. So the two moths join forces and beat Godzilla up, but Godzilla still gets the last laugh by killing Battra in the end and falling into the sea! Yay! We won!

Is is bad that, while well done, I could see the strings in this movie while in other Mothra movies I couldn't? That seems like a bad thing to me, but you know, that's how they do it.

Man, I'm tired, that's all I got....

I give this movie a: :happy2:
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Postby Transypoo » Mon Jan 18, 2010 2:17 am

Day: 12

Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II (1993)

When I started this I never even remotely considered that a Godzilla movie would nearly bring me to tears. But these are not tears of pain, this movie actually has a heartwarming and lovely ending. And I am totally not joking.

This movie opens with a very cool idea. Take the future technology from Mecha-King Ghidorah and use it to build a machine to kill Godzilla. Thus is born Mechagodzilla. Oh, right, the "II or 2" in the title has nothing to do with it being a sequel to 'Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla' (That was Terror Of Mechagodzilla (see above.)) but that it is the second incarnation of Mechagodzilla.

Then we cut over to an island where a group of scientists find a relatively new pterodactyl skeleton and the two massive eggs. One already hatched, the other not yet. The scientists load the egg onto a helicopter and suddenly are attacked by Rodan, which one guy names right off the bat like he knows what it is. (Could it be that 'Rodan' is part of this continuity?) Rodan terrorizes the camp for only a moment when Godzilla rises out of the sea and savagely beats the ever livin' crud out of Rodan, and I MEAN it. It's a hard core battle!

What's interesting is that Rodan seems to be an adult even though it looks like it just hatched, this would be in keeping with the discription from 'Rodan' about their breeding habits.

The humans fly off with the egg. Once in a lab a Pteranodon enthusiast shows up and starts bugging the scientist there and he steals a sample of moss that has been clinging to the shell. The Pteranodon guy, who works for G-Force, shows the moss to the Psychic girl from movies past and she picks up a psychic wave from it so they take it to the Psychic Institute and have the kids analyze it. They discover a song and when played back in the lab, the egg hatches.

It's not a baby Rodan, but a Baby Godzilla. D'awww.

So, what's cool is that it's mentioned that Godzillasauruses probably lay their eggs in other animals nests, like cuckoos. Which I found cool because it goes with the whole Dinosaur/bird theory.

Suddenly, Godzilla shows up Heading straight for Koyto. And as Godzilla is approaching, the military (lead by the same guy from the last movie, which I didn't mention because I was more than half asleep when I wrote it) send out Mechagodzilla. And at first Godzilla is getting its butt handed to it. Mechagodzilla uses a particularly savage weapon being harpoon tipped wires that electrocute it target. But somehow Godzilla sends this power back up the wires and shocks MechaG into burning out. Then G proceeds to tamale it to the ground.

Godzilla then continues to the very building that BabyG is being held.

"I WANT MAI BÉBÉ!" It seems to say. The Scientists take Babby G to the basement and Godzilla, apparently loosing track of where its baby is, it wanders off.

So, after this BabyG is moved to a special environment for it and studied, and X-rayed and analized. It's discovered that Godzillasauruses have two brains, much like a sauropod, one in the head and one in the hips to take care of all the lower functions so the reaction times are quickened. Which would explain why Godzilla's tail seems to have a life of its own.

Psychis girl brings a field trip of psychic students to visit Baby G and they sing the song they learned from the moss. BabyG FREAKS OUT! And Rodan wakes up and transforms into 'Fire Rodan' (Although this is not mentioned in the movie.) It basically turns from brown to red. And come zooming over to Japan.

So, the military comes up with a plan to lure Godzilla out into the open useing BabyG so his keeper, and romance interest for the Pteranodon guy , climbs into the shipping crated with it and the whole thing is carried by Helicopter, but suddenly Rodan comes swooping in, blows up the chopper and flys off with the crate! Eek!

So out comes Mechagodzilla and they do battle, Rodan revealing its new atomic breath powers! Pteranodon guy flies a jet thing he invented and shoots at Rodan and there's a big ol' battle. And Rodan is taken down.

Then suddenly Godzilla rises from the sea again! (He does that.) And more battle ensues. They then use their updated Stabby-Zappy system and take Godzilla's legs out of commission. Then BabyG cries out to Rodan (its brother of sorts) to help out Godzilla. Rodan swoops down and Some how transfers all of its energy (I think that means radiation) into Godzilla, burning into ashes in the process. Godzilla heals and rises and melts MechaG to the ground.

The humans that were with BabyG have to get the smek out of there before Godzilla kills them but Baby wants to go too, but they leave it behind. Godzilla walks up to Baby and Baby goes and hides in the crate. The Scientist woman then calls Psychic and tells her to psychically tell BabyG to go with BigG. And I don't know HOW they did it, but Godzilla looks down upon its baby lovingly. Seriously, LOVINGLY!

The two march off into the sea as the humans looks on.

And I'm in tears. (No not really, but it sure was a sweet moment.)

This is probably the best Godzilla movie so far!

I give this movie a: :happy4: and a: :sadder:
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Postby Transypoo » Mon Jan 18, 2010 8:23 pm

Day: 13

Godzilla vs. Spacegodzilla (1994)

Well, let's just say, there's a thing out in space and its heading towards earth.

Meanwhile some soldiers and scientist, and Psychic girl go to a remote island to try to control Godzilla psychically. Little Godzilla, who was formerly Babygodzilla, tromps around the island. Godzilla comes to visit its baby, and the humans use a thingy that the shoot at the back of G's head. (Yo, G what up?) Psychic girl can somewhat control G, but he still seems too powerful. And Suspenders Mcgee messes with the computer, overloading it. So, there're also these pits filled with crystals and Li'l G goes to investigates, then SpaceG comes down and starts to beat up the li'l guy. Noo! How could you! You monster! Godzilla the comes and they do battle, but it seems like SpaceG won. He flies off to do bigger and badder things and Godzilla wanders off into the sea to heal/follow.

Oh, sure, just leave you baby alone!

So, they figure out that the Space monster is genetically identical to Godzilla, thus 'Spacegodzilla' they mention that Godzilla cells went into space twice, once as Biollante disintegrated, and once when Mothra went into space at the end of that movie. (I guess they figure Mothra must of had skin under it nails?) I figure Spacegodzilla's gotta be a mutation of Biollante seeing as how they have almost the same mouthes.

So, much battling ensues. There's a kinda stupid replacement for Mechagodzilla named MOGUERA that can split into a drill-tank and a jet... but the legs become the jet and the top becomes the drill, which seems impractical.

There're some missiles, people running and lots and lots of flattened buildings.

For some reason the two female characters show up at the end in weird silver jackets. Which is stupid 'cause the movie took place in the modern day... did they think they were going to start a new trend?

Well, in the end, of course, MOGUERA is destroyed, SpaceG floats back up into space a sparklies and Godzilla walks off to the sea, hopefully to go take care of his baby! JEEZ!

Oh, and the 'dawww ending was of Li'l G learning how to use its atomic breath... Yeaaaahhh.... not necessarily a good thing.

Oh, and Godzilla used the powers it inherited from Rodan right at the end of the movie too. It was pretty cool.

I give this movie a: :happy2:
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